Nothing 'Instant' about Abbey Santander

Spanish bank Santander has announced that it is merging all its UK banks - Abbey, Alliance and Leicester and Bradford and Bingley under the Santander brand. Chaos should surely follow, as I can reveal here.

Recently I opened an online instant access savings account with Alliance and Leicester. I already have a similar telephone savings account with Abbey paying 2.5% but A&L pays 3.15%.

I can transfer funds from my Abbey bank account to the A&L savings account at the click of a mouse. To transfer funds from my Abbey bank account to my Abbey savings account I must phone or visit a branch. I hate phoning Abbey, for the reasons I'm about to describe.

Three weeks ago I wanted to transfer the bulk of my savings from Abbey to A&L to benefit from the higher interest rate. I called Abbey. My savings account number did not figure in the automated menu so my call was cycled through the options a couple of times while I tried to work out how to actually speak to someone (that option isn't offered either).

After a couple of minutes I'm connected to the call centre in India. My call is being handled by a charming lady working to a script which is written without meaning. I explain that my savings account is not offered in the personalised menu, and that I want to transfer my savings to my bank account.

She asks why I want to do this (it's my money, is it any of her business?) but I give her the benefit of the doubt in these fraudulent times and assume this might be some oblique security check.

So I explain I'm moving my money, via my bank account, to my other Santander savings account. In fact, as it's the same bank; Santander, can she make this transfer directly for me?

No, of course she can't. Santander isn't actually joined up at all. Even worse she tells me she has to refer my request to transfer my own money from my savings account to my bank account, to the fraud department for security checks.

I am on hold for what seems like forever. Abbey call this an 'Instant Access' Savings Account. There is nothing 'Instant' about this process.

I'm not asked any questions during the wait, so quite how Abbey verifies my identity during this essential security check is any one's guess. Perhaps they simply note that I have the funds and I'm moving them from one of my Abbey accounts to another of my Abbey accounts?

After 19 minutes my request to transfer my money from my Abbey savings account, to my Abbey bank account is approved.

I explain that there is nothing 'Instant' about this, and I would like to speak to a senior manager about the process. But my request is denied, because it is a Saturday and no one is available. So I ask for a manager to call me on Monday to discuss Santander's service. This request is denied too and I am asked to email in. Here is my email:

Dear Abbey

I have just spent 19 minutes on the telephone transferring £*****my instant access savings account to my Abbey bank account.

There is nothing instant about your ‘Instant Access Savings Account.’

The above account is not offered as part of the automated banking menu, there is no offer to speak to an advisor, customers are simply cycled through unhelpful menus.

Finally when I do speak to an advisor I am asked why I want to transfer such a large sum to my own bank account and then put on hold for a lengthy period while my request is referred to the fraud department for security checks.

In case the absurdity of this is lost on you, and before you cite the importance of security, let me remind you I am transferring money from one Abbey account in my name to another Abbey account in my name.

I am doing this in order to transfer the money to another Santander savings account at ****h pays a significantly higher interest rate. This ****ount will transfer cash from my Abbey bank account at the click of a mouse.

I asked to speak to a senior manager to express my concern that this transaction took so long, and was told no one was available, nor could anyone telephone me on ****

I am surprised Abbey cannot look after it’s higher depositing customers with more care. I cannot waste my time because Abbey’s systems are so poorly organised. I am a shareholder and I am concerned that your business is not adequately resourced. This will cost the bank customers and my investment in the bank will suffer.

I will shortly be transferring further funds away from Abbey unless you can assure me that you plan to provide a faster, more efficient service and competitive interest rates between different parts of the Santander group.

I would be grateful for your comments on my experience, the functionality of the Instant Access Savings account and the service provided by your call centre.

Coming next Abbey's far from 'Instant' reply...

VW Driver's Seat Burn Alert! - Update

The story so far: The heated driver's seat of my VW Golf MkIV malfunctioned and burned through the upholstery, scorching my thigh. VW UK told me this was simply a sign of the vehicle's age (8 years) rather than a safety issue - even though there was a recall of some VW Golf Mk IVs because of a safety issue affecting the driver's heated seat. They completely failed to investigate whether there was a link. so I emailed a link of my last blog post 'Driver's Seat Burn Alert!' to the President of VW in Germany.

I guessed that while the UK distributor may be too arrogant to investigate customer safety alerts the Germans would be much more concerned. My instincts were correct. A week or so after emailing the most senior man in Volkswagen I received an email advising me they were looking into the matter. The German parent replied:


We refer to your e-mail dated September 3rd 2009, addressed to our Chairman Prof. Dr. Winterkorn. As you will have noted from our interim reply, our department has been requested to reply and we were sorry indeed to read about the disturbing experiences you have made, which prompted you to write. In view of these, we like to liaise with our importer Volkswagen UK in order to look for an appropriate and satisfactory solution. Either our importer or we will get back to you then.

Three days later VW UK's safety liaison officer phoned me to apologise and explain that correct procedures had not been followed.

He understood that I had been quoted for a new seat, when I was actually concerned about safety.

A safety report should have been completed by the servicing retailer, and this would have come to his attention.

By way of apology and as a gesture of goodwill VW would like me to take the vehicle to any dealership - where they would carry out the report and at the same time replace the seat at no cost to myself.

I've found emailing my blog posts to the relevant company Chief Executive produces a remarkably swift result.